Not that anyone has said anything.. But, my LJ has been locked for the last couple months. I was trying it out to see how I like it. I'm satisfied.

I primarily use the journal to see what my friends are up to, and occasionally share details of my own life.

Other people have locked their journals, it offers a certain level of privacy that I find I like. It bothers me that some people watch my journal without ever once talking to me or commenting. This has removed that level of annoyance/insecurity.

That being said, if you're NOT on my friends list and want to be, get ahold of me. You all know how.

Heath Ledger has been one of my favorite actors for years. I always loved his diversity and this is simply depressing. I hope the media doesn't make a mess of this, he deserves better.

Okay, I think I had forgotten just HOW much work a new puppy is.. But in my defense, it's been 10 years since I'd dealt with one. Still, I've been doing my research and training is going well. Crates.. are awesome. Once you've gone dog crate, you'll never go back.

I will be getting her this Christmas when I go down to visit my parents! She is a 4 month old Australian Shepherd, purebred, and I think I will name her Izzy. (After Izzy in Grey's Anatomy)

Click this link.

It's just a text file, COMPLETELY harmless, and I promise that it's for a good cause. It's the holiday season and it will only take you 2 seconds, and the text file you download will explain everything and you won't regret the effort it took you to click.

/set timer1 on
/whine

Sometimes I feel like I really understand people... other times I don't understand them at all.

I guess that's a crux of life.

That or honesty is more rare than I've come to convince myself into believing. Is telling a person how you really feel such a traumatic thing? Why string them along? Is taking advantage of kindness always an intentional thing? I'd like to think it's more accidental, and believe that people aren't really trying to hurt others so constantly. Maybe I'm just optimistic.

I can think of at least half a dozen instances right now where people I know are taking advantage of another person, or being taken advantage of. I don't know both sides to all the stories, but I know for a fact that in one instance it's just completely out of line. (Having TWO vehicles when you're only allowed one, and then suggesting that your roommate park at the bottom of a big hill in the winter when there's not enough room for all the cars is just insanely rude. Especially when said roommate is exceptionally accommodating and polite.)

I don't know. If someone asks me how I feel about something, I tell them. Maybe I'm too honest, but I try to be tactful and I never try to intentionally hurt someone's feelings. Still, I would rather hurt their feelings a little bit than lie. Liars just annoy the piss out of me. That and people that commit to something, and then change their mind and can't have the decency to inform you as much. Especially when you directly ask them.

"Do you want to do this?" .. "Maybe.. I'll think about it."
"So? Were you interested?" .. "Yeah, okay.. but not right now."
"Still interested?" .. "Maybe.. possibly.."
"How about now?" .. "Well.. ummm.. uhh.. "

Maybe I try too hard. Maybe I just harass people. I feel that way a lot of the times. I mean, should I have to harass my friends to participate in something that is supposed to be fun? Are they really friends if I constantly feel like I'm bothering them?

I'm not saying I've never been guilty of loss of interest in something. The comic is an excellent example, but, the only person I feel I'm letting down on that count is Erin and I've talked to her about it many times. The fans? Well, they're not paying customers and a certain level of separation is necessary. I'd like to see more comics too, but spending 10-20 hours on one just isn't fun anymore. Since it IS a hobby, and it's NOT fun anymore, I only work on it when I think it WILL be fun.

Another example is running table-top games. BUT, if I get bored running a game, I tell the players. "Hey, I'm starting to lose interest in running the game.. wanna wrap up the story?" I'd like to think I'm being honest. Yes, I'm aware I'm flaking out on being a GM, but why keep pushing the game if it's gonna suck? That's no fun for anyone.

I wish I could find something around town to volunteer with.. or some activity to get involved in. I miss hanging out with Rachel. We did all sorts of stuff. I mean, I know a lot of it is my lack of interest in one of the biggest activities in Marquette (drinking), but still.. it's better than sitting around whining on my LJ.

I think only 2 people read my journal anyway. That's not being emo.. that's just being practical and accepting the truth of the situation. I put very little into LJ, and get very little in return. I'm content with this.

/set timer1 off

On the scene.

Sand Slayer in town.
Ourani troop withdrawal.
Secret resistance movement beginning to gather.
Some strange amnesiac elf was found in the waste.
Lord Tinathys gets cozy for the winter.

So, way back when my brother got his server set up, we stress tested it with a video file that I hosted on Closet Gamers. This was when we were actually updating the site regularly with new comics, so the traffic was pretty high. I think over the course of that month we pulled 30 gigs of bandwidth and were happy to see things still running peppy.

Now, my new site that's been running since Sunday has pulled 27 gigs. That's in 5 days. I was starting to grow a bit concerned that I might be pushing that "you don't need to worry about bandwidth" threshold, so I asked my brother how much excess was available. (I can't afford a $200 bill for grossly underestimating the amount of traffic a site can get so close to launch) He said he thought it was around 1000 gigs.. Phew. I don't think we'll hit a terrabyte (I think that's right?) in a month's time. At least I hope we don't.

I thought when I designed the site that I was rather conscious of keeping the design itself low on bandwidth. The images folder is only 70k total, but when you multiply that times 300,000 it really starts to add up. Plus I used Joomla, and my brother said that in terms of server load and efficiency it's like trying to dig a whole with a grenade. Oops. Anyway, accessing the css files alone for all those hits has been a few hundred megs. Now I have a greater understanding of why leading sites make their code as painfully efficient as possible. I may have to go in and cull things down.

Here's the stats file for any that are interested in this stuff. Just food for thought.

My latest project is: http://www.ps3-theme.com/

It's proving to be taking off quite well, and I'm really happy.

As of last nights stats I was at 93,000 hits in only 3 days. The bandwidth is already almost 3 gigs, so I'm amused to see what my brother says when he gets back from his honeymoon, lol!

Hey bro! How was your honeymoon? What? The server? Oh.. my bad.. I started a new web site.

This just frightens me..

News Story

Well, Laurie was writing, so I thought I would post a little bit of creative writing that I did for a new character I made on Sinari.

So.. I was redoing my LJ theme and stuff.. then I saw the scrapbook link, and it was like "Oh no, you cannot use this.. you must upgrade!" and I was all .. "Whatever.. I'm not paying you a dime.. "

THEN.. It says "You can upgrade to Plus for FREE" So I clicked it because free is good.

Now there are ADS on my LJ. *hisses*

Be wary of the free upgrade button.

We leave tomorrow for NY for my bro's wedding. My level of excitement/stress is WAY low compared to my own wedding, but this is probably a good thing because otherwise I would be freaking out more.

My biggest concern is NWA screwing us over, but we HAVE our seating assignments for all the flights but the last returning flight, so hopefully we won't have problems.

Poor Anie.. I feel so bad for you. :(

Unless it's the Ourani.. then you better watch out!

I've been in a little creative writing kick. It's good, because RP makes me a very sloppy and lazy writer. Not that I fashion myself a "Writer" at all, but I really need to actively try to improve my vocabulary.

Wedding:One week later, and it's still all sinking in. It's weird how you can want something for SO long, and then when you finally get it you're not sure how to process it all. I'm always scared that each step in our relationship is going to be the wrong one, but like the engagement, the marriage has only proven to make Dennis more caring and devoted. (Which is a good thing). I'm still coming down off the buzz of all the stress and planning, seeing the family, etc etc. He's been as sweet as always and letting me unwind in my own particular fashions. The next step is the house, but that's not until next spring. Everyone was so so generous with financial gifts that we're actually coming out ahead a little bit after all the wedding/reception bills.

Work:
Deliah is gone to stay with Corey for two months. I miss her, naturally. You can't take care of a kid for thirty hours a week and NOT miss her when she leaves, but it's also a bit of a relief. It gives me some time after the wedding to really adjust and relax again, without having to worry about taking care of a toddler every night. She's right at the terrible two's stage and our apartment is NOT prepared for that right now. Hopefully I'll have it all straightened up by the time she's back. I confined her to the playpen far too much last week. I felt bad about it. To make it up to her I copied her two favorite movies to go with her, so she can still watch Madagascar and Happy Feet down at Corey's.

Friends:
Dennis talked me into going to a sealed deck Magic tournament yesterday. caladon and indran ended up going as well. It was actually quite fun, but I don't think I'll go again. Maybe. The people there were all really nice, but I felt bad for taking away from their scores since I don't really care about my rating at all.

We're planning another BBQ for next week, should be fun.

Sinari:
Lots of new plots kicking off. Now that I'm free again of a million obligations I've been planning a lot of stuff with _una_and Kyle. The channel is officially a year old, and I think it's grown tremendously over the past year. A lot of people have put a considerable time and work into it, and I'm glad it's still running.

To see the wedding galleries, check out my blog post here: http://www.paulinetown.com/blog/2007/10/wedding-pictures.html

So could NOT sleep last night... so it didn't really matter that a storm ripped through in the middle of the night.

4 hours.. O.o